the game of life as a woman
you may win the game, but at what cost?
As we grow older, we start to realise that society grants certain individuals privileges over others: having the loudest laugh, being the most attractive, charismatic, and extroverted person in the room gets you the most attention, opportunities, respect, and admiration. These are even scientifically proven, where the ‘attractiveness halo effect’ shows that people who are physically attractive are also associated with other positive characteristics. The substantial amount of anecdotal evidence supporting these theories cannot be undermined as well, with a disproportionate number of stories where attractive girls get free drinks or receive more job offers. And the cost of succumbing to such stereotypes seemed minute in comparison to the whopping benefits at reach — the only cost seems to be the judgement of “losers” who could only pine for your life. To win is to be what society wants you to be.
But what people do not tell you is the hollowness you experience as you sculpt yourself to fit into the mould crafted by society. You find the lines between your personality and your persona fade into a blur, your personality now fragments of a broken glass, unable to be pieced together. You tell yourself it’s all a facade, that deep down you still know who you truly are. But then you try to fit the pieces together again, and they no longer align.
As hideous as it is, pretty privilege exists. And as indignant as we feel about it, there’s nothing much we can do to eradicate such deep-rooted, systemic biases. But ultimately, we only live once. Is it worth reaping the benefits of being stereotypically desirable if it means sacrificing the one chance we have at carving our own identity? The sense of emptiness I experienced as I felt my personality being chipped away could never be replaced by the opportunities and respect I received as I moulded myself to fit society’s stereotype, for I had lost the most fundamental respect for myself.
Maybe we don’t need to play the game at all; why be pawns for a game created by someone other than you?
women are given such a special standard that they feel like they must follow. we have to be right for others, not for us. we should not have to or feel that way at all. we are all beautiful and organic beings. we should amplify ourselves rather than mold into someone else.
True. It boils my blood to think that humans have been such way since time, in fitting people into pre decided moulds and norms, especially women. How to bring about change, when so many people still boast that notion of tradition and values when they don't even know the how to take care of their own daughters. Just saying something which I've seen around me, anyways, really liked reading this piece. Keep writing !